Category - Funny Jokes

Whatsappgreetings.com Browse through our Funny SMS Messages and send free Funny sms / poem / poetry / greetings, hindi jokes, birthday funny text messages, funny hindi mobile jokes and good sms to your friend, family or near and dear ones. Share it have fun.


Toofani barish me raat ko pizza hut pe

1 Ladka pizza lene Gaya

Waiter: Do u hv any gf?

Ladka: Kutte is tufani barish me Aur

Kya meri MAA pizza lene bhejegi.



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Effect of Aashiqui 2

Santa- Abe toilet se jaldi bahar

nikal..

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Banta- Sun raha hai na tu…..

Dho raha hu main..



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Ye kya natak Hai Or aapko kya Jrurat hai Mere Bare

Me Sbko Ye Btane ki-

ki

<(',')>

)(

_//_

I’m So Sweet

I’m So cute

I’m So Nice

agr Nazr Lag Gayi to.



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Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa

ne kaha-

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dekh-dekh us ladki ko dekh wo

tumhare sath padhti hai,

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1st aayi hai.

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Boy- dekh-dekh kya dekh

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Usiko dekh-dekh ke to fail hua hoon



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“Aaj Ka Vichaar”

Ladke Agar Ameer Ban Jaye To Wo Bigad Jate Hai,

Aur

.

Agar Ladkiya Bigad Jaye To Wo Ameer Ban Jati Hai.

Kyo Sahi Hai Na…..?



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“Usse Juda Ho Kar To Meri Jaan Hi

Jaane Wali Thi Faraz” !!

Achanak Yaad Aya.

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Ke Uski Saheli Ne Bhi Toh

Apna Number Diya Tha…!!

Tab Jaa Kar Jaan Mein Jaan Aayi.



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Good News!

Ab Aap is SMS ke Zariye..

Apne Mobile SET par

STAR PLUS Dekh Sakte Ho!

BILKUL FREE

Wo bhi 24 Hrs!

To Dekhiye.

( * +)



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Na oh bura na ohdi tasveer buri aa,

Kujh asi bure haan kujh saadi takdir buri aa ,,,,,,,



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Tera pyar pana hai______________ ________________ gaur pharmaiya ga _____ tera pyar pana hai ______________ ___________________________________ mera pyar screw driver wah…wah…



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Yun dekha na karoaap humein haste haste,

Yun dekha na karoaap humein haste haste,

Mere dost bade kharab hain…

Dekhte hee tumhein keh baithenge:

Bhabhi ji Namaste!



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Class Me Master Sharab Liye Bethe Hai

Gor Farmaiyega

Class Me Master Sharab Liye Bethe Hai

Aur

Student Itne Chalu Hai Ki Glass Liye Bethe Hai



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Petrol Badha

Hum Chup Rahe

Diesel Badha

Fir Bhi Chup Rahe

LPG Badha

fir bhi Kuch Nahi Bole!

Vegetables k Dam bad Gaye

Fir bhi hum chup rahe

Par abb suna hai

DARU……

Maa ki aankh

Ab Chup Nahi Rahenge

INQALAB ZINDABAD.



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Ek ladka aur ek ladki ek dusre se

bhut pyaar karte the..

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Ladki ke baap ko pata lag gya…

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Usne gusse se bijli se chalnewali

aaari ko ladki ke gardan(neck) pe rakh diya..

Woh aari ladki ko katne hi wali thi,

achanak light chali gayi…

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Pass mai khadha woh ladka chillaya..

Congress sarkar Zindabad..

Moral: Agar sacha hai aapka pyaar

to saath hai Bharat Sarkar..



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Insan Ka Dil Sabse Jyada Kab Jalta Hai?

Jab Aap Iphone Original Mobile Lekar Baithe Ho,

Aur Koi Aakar Kahe China Ka Hai Na.



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Santa Ko Thane Mein Laya Gaya

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Aur Police Inpector Ke Aage Pesh Kiya Gaya

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Inspector: “Tumne Is Bechare Bikhari Ko Itna

Kyu Maara?”.

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Santa: “Mene Isko Kitni Baar Bola Ki Main Aisa

Waisa Aadmi Nahi Hoon, Fir Bhi Sala Bolta

Hai,

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.”Ek

Baar De De Baba“ . 😛 😀



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A Public Msg:

A Girl May Not Help U To

Get Lot Of Marks..

But Marks May Help U to

Get Lot Of Girls..

So Luv Your Studies,

Not Girls..!!



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Pappu hr station utar k

usse agle station ka ticket kharid rha tha

.

kyu?

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Qki doctor ne use

.

lamba safar

karne k liye mana kia tha.



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2 student raat me padhte huye

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1st: kitne baje hai yaar….??

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2nd ne patthar uthakar samne girls hostel me mara.

1 ladki nikli boli: kamino ab to so jao raat ke 2 baj rahe hai…. :P=D



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bahut khoob——

arz hai-

ye dil mera parinde sa, jise main qaid rakhta hun,

us dam hi haran hota jo sarhad paar karta hun.

abhi tak maan mujhe bistar se aise hi jagati hai,

goya main abhi tak doodh peeta ek bachcha hun.



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Sms har pal karu to shararat hogi,

har din karu to paresani hogi,

kabhi kabaar karu to kanjusi hogi sweet

, par dil se karu toh aapko khushi hogi.



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Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi.

Wah! Kia Larki thee!

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tum ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!Hushain2



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Jab koi itna khas Ban jaye

Uske Bare Me sochna Ehsas Ban jaye

To Mang lena khuda se use zindgi bhar k liye,

Isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS Ban jaye.



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‘Ek dukhi girlfriend ne,

Apne boyfrnd ke liye,

Shayari likhi…..

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Phoolo ka raja,

Baharo ka shahzada…

Dil tor kar chala gaya..

KUTTA KAMINA HARAMZADA’



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Girl to Teacher: Ye Pyaar kya

Hota Hai Sir ??

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Teacher: Jab Tum Badi ho

kar Achi Ladki Banogi to

Tumhe 1 pyar karne wala milega.

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Girl: Agar Achi na Bani to ?

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Teacher: To Bohat Saray Milenge



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BOY:Mujhse shaadi karogi..

GIRL:Kyaaa??

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BOY:Achhi film hai Naa..

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GIRL:Kutte K Bachhe..

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… BOY:Wat??

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GIRL:Kitne cute hote hai na.



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Phone Ke Rishte Bhi Bade Ajeeb Hote Hain,

Balance Rakhkar Bhi Log Ajeeb Hote Hain,

Khud To Msg Karte Nahi Hain,

Muft Ke Msg Padhne Ke Kitne Shoqin Hoti Hai… 😀



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Pyaar ladko ko bhi

chahiye, aur ladkiyo

ko bhi…:))

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Diff.. is dat…

ladkiyo ko Yashraj ki

movies wala

chahiye..

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And ladko ko…

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Imran harami ki movies

wala

chahiye.



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Behan Ki Friend Behan Hoti Hai

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Bhai Ka Friend Bhai Hota Hai

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To Wife Ki Friend Wife Kyu Nai Hoti…??



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Khuda Bohot Mehrban He Ki

Usne Dosto Ki Koi Qeemat Nhi Rakhi

Vrna Hm Ap Jse Dost Ki Qeemat Kese Ada Krte

Qki Chawanni/ Athhani Ab Kaha Chlti He.

K.k



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Ek Ladka, Ladki Se Puchta Hy: Bachey Kese Hote Hai ?

Ladki: Chup … !

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Ladka: Batao Na Plz =D

Ladki: Nahi Pata =@

Ladka: Plz ….. !!!

Ladki: Thappar Pare Ga Ab Mat Pchna ..!!

Ladka : Aray Bewakoof Itna Bhi Nahi Pata…

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Bachay Shararti Hote Hai … =P =D

Moral:Girls Hamesha Boys Ko Ghalat Hi Samajhti Hai 😉



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“Why Do We Students Sleep For Long

Hours..??”

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Awesome Answer By Students : .

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“Kyunki, Hamare Sapne Bahut Bade

Hote Hain..!!.”



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MUST READ IT ” KABHI USKO NAZAR-ANDAAZ NA KARO JO AAPKI BAHUT PARWAAH KARTA HO WARNA KISI DIN AAPKO EHSAAS HOGA KI PATHAR JAMA KARTE-KARTE AAPNE HEERE GANWA DIYE… neet



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?? ??? 1 ???? ????? ?? 1 ?????? ???? ??? ??? ?? ???.

????? ?????? ??? ????- ???? ???”????” ???? ??,”????” ?? ???? ????? ??????? ???? “???” ???? ??

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???? ?????????? ???- ???? ???”????” ???? ??, ???? ?? ???? ????? ??

“??? ?? ???” ???? ??…



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44 44

44 44

444444

44

44

Magical sweet sms.

Ye msg aap sirf 4 logo ko send kar sakte ho uske baad send nahi hoga.Try it.:I m also shockd.



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Kya apki Girl friend ke paas yeh sab hai…..?

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Sulagta Jism.?

Nashili Ankhen.?

Kanp-kapate Honth.?

Tharthrata Badan.?

Agar hai..

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To Usko DENGUE hua hai… ðŸ™

Jaldi doctor k paas le k bhaag… 😛 😀



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Ek Doctor patient ke piche bhag

raha tha.

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Logo ne Dr. se poocha,

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aap q

bhag rahe ho patient ke piche?

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Dr. ne kaha = Ye Kamina har

mahine brain ka operation karvane

aata hai,

Aur

Muft mai ball katva ke bhag

jata hai



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1 admi doston ki mehfil se raat late ghar gaya

dosto ne pucha k wife ne kuch kaha to nahi

admi bola nahi kuch khas nahi bus ye

2 dant to mai wesay bhi niklwane wala thaHushain2



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Taxiwala:” Bhai 1 RupyaChange Nahi Hai,

Ye Dekho 1 Rupye Wala Video..

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Pappu:” Ye Le 4GB Memory Card With 1000 Videos,

Nikaal 1000 Ka Note… :/ :p 😀



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Bindas ho ke Jeenay ka,

Tension nahi lenay ka!

Achay Sapnay dekhnay ka,

Mast Life guzarnay ka!

Jin Bhoot se nahi darney ka,

Bole to,

Shisha nahi Dekhney ka!

Samje



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Santa ki Wife ka

Rang Kala tha

Ek Din Red Saree

Pehan K

pucha: Me Kaisi

Dikh Rahi Hu? .

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Snta:Jaise Kajal Ki Factory Me Aag

Lag Gayi Ho !!… 😛 😀



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Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai,

har chehre par shabab achha lagta hai,

aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte rahen,

hamein aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai.



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Na DiL Ki Baazi Thi

Na DiL Ka Sauda

Agar De Deti Wo Hume Waqt Apna Thoda,

Na Aati AaJ Ye Nobat Aur Na Koi Puchta,

Sir

With Water

Ya

With Soda.



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Jisko bhi party ho krni ajao mere ghr ke bhitr daru pikar khane ko h murga titar,goda gurgav mumbai ki choriya ayi hai sath me yo yo ki cdiya b layi h swari saman ki ab khud jime dar hai.

Karlo party sari rat kal etwar hai.

Music bjega loud to anty police bulalegi….

Kya gana hai yar.

Sunke mood fresh ho jata hai..



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Who is Cute?

It’s U

Who is smart?

It’s U

Who is sweet?

It’s U

Who is handsome?

It’s U

And who is joking?

ofcose it’s me…!!!



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1 Pinjre me 50 Bandaria aur 1 Bandar

rakha Gaya.

Aur Elan hua ki jo 1 min. me Bandar ko

pehchan ke Pakad lega wo $100,000

payega.

1st: Obama gaya@Par fail ho gaya 2nd: George bush gaya lekin nakam

raha.

3rd: Manmohan singh gaya aur 10

second me Bandar le aaya.

Sab ne hairan hoke puchha:aap ne

kaise pata kar liya? M.M.Singh: Mai pinjre me gaya aur kaha:

VOTE CONGRESS ko dena!

To sirf ek ne kaha:

LUND LE LE MERA!:p:D

AUR MAINE PAKAR LIYA…*

hahaha



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Pathan chapple agey rakh k namaz parh raha tha

molvi:chapple agey rakhney sey namaz nai hoti

Pathan:aur peachey rakhney sey chapple nai hoti



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Lubha-le aapko woh andaaz kahase laye..

Aapke nagmo ke liye hum saaz kahan se laye

Chand ki Tarif to kar sakte hain hum..

Magar aapki tarif ke liye alfaz kahan se laye…



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Marunga tere pyar mai, ab yahi meri marzi hai! mere muh pe khakh n dalna muze dust se Allergy hai!



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Aapki Khoobsurti se hum b SHARMINDA hain

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Kahin Bhul se bhi

Kabristan mat chale jana

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Warna Log samjhenge Bhoot abhi jinda hai.



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Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki

zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.

Next day zuban cut gai..

Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka

hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai…

bahut marta hai.

Next day hath toot jata hai…

Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko

utha le.

Bahut marte hai.

Next day baap ghar aate hain,

Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi

hua ??

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Baap :- Nahi kyo

Bacha :- Maa kahan hain…??

Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki

death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi

hain..



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Boy:papa sach aur raz main kaya farq hai?

Papa:Tum mairey batey ho yeh sach hai msg parhney wala b maira hi beta hai yeh aik raz hai

A waji a kun tey

Gandi ulaad na maza na suwaad



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Koi Ankho Se Baat Kar Leta hai,

Koi Aankhon Me Mulaqat Kar leta hai,

Bada Muskil hota hai Facebook Par Rehna,

Jab Koi Block Kar Deta Hai..



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Indians ki aadaten :

“barish”mili uchalna shuru.

“Ladki dekhi to ghurna shuru”

“barat”mili nachna shuru.

Or

“Sms”mila to reply chhod kar,forward karna shuru..

Djsumit



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Funy poetery

o mino waikhi jandi si main unou waikhi janda si

wah wah

o mino waikhi jandi si main ounno waikhi janda si

QK

Na ono papar aanda si na minou papar aanda si

Taaliyan



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Is Waqt India K 4 Bade Problems Hai

1. Population

2. Mehengai

3. Bomb Blast

& the most Dangerous

4. Naujawano Ko Har Hafte Hone Wala SACCHA PYAR



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Door Se Dekha To Paani Baras

Raha Tha

Door Se Dekha To Paani Baras

Raha Tha

Paas Gaya.. To Bheeg Gaya..



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Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!

Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?

Boy:bilkul nahi!

Girl:to phir rehne do…Hushain2



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Vo kaun aadmi hai

Ko ek hath se 100 gadi rok shakta hai????

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TRAFFIC POLICE yaar…

Tum bhi na …

Har bar rajnikant nahi ata..



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Pappu makes a call from Delhi 2 his wife

.

Servant picked up d phone.

Pappu : Memsab se baat karao !

Servant: Woh to sahab k sath kamre me so

rahi hai.

Pappu : Par sahab to main hu.

servant: Ab main kya karu?

Pappu: Maar de dono ko, main hold karta hu..

After killing….

servant: Dead body ka kya karu ?

Pappu: Ghar k piche swimming pool mein

phenk kr bhaag ja.

Servant: Par ghar k piche to swimming pool

hai hi nahi.

.

Pappu: Oh sorry, wrong number..



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Boy-kal se hum teri gali me nahi milenge.

Girl-q

Boy-bade zalim hai tere gali ke bache

Girl-q kya hua

Boy- mere piche kutta chod k bolte hai pyar kiya to darna kya.



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Interesting Fact About

Tom & Jerry..???

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Pure Din Nange Ghumenge.

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Par Nahate Waqt.

Swiming Suit Pehn Ke Nahaege.



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ladki ka no. mangna ho to never ask HEY U ON WHATSAPP?? 8-|

vo bolegi SRY I DON’T HAVE A SMART PHONE o.O

pehle use bolo YAAR PICS TOH TUMHARI PALANG-TOD HAI.. KONSA PHONE USE KARTI HO? :-*

Then she won’t have that excuse 😛



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Dhoni: meri biwi ko bacchaa nai ho raha hai kya karu??

Viru: boost de.

Salmaan: revital de.

Dada: sona chandi chyawanprash de.

Aasaram- ek moka muje bhi de 😛



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My updates:- Kashish dil ki har cheez bhula deti hai,

Band aakhon mein bhi sapne saja deti hai,

Sapno ki duniya jarur rakhna dost,

Kyun ki hakikat to aksar logo ko rula deti hai…

By jatin



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Boy: “Tum gaana bahut accha gaati

ho”

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Girl: “Thanks but I’m just Bathroom

singer..

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Boy:”To bulao na kabhi apne live

concert PE…. 😛 😀



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Teacher: “Aaj pehli

baar tum class me

baat kar rahi ho..

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hamesha tum nazre

jhukake meri baate

sunti thi kya ho gya

hai tumhe.. ??

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Pinky:” sir ji net pack

khatm ho gya

hai..



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Ladkiya hame na pasand kare iska hame koi gam nahi?..

Ladkiya hame na pasand kare iska hame koi gam nahi?..

Badnasib hai woh ladkiya jinke nasib me hum nahi.



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Hum Jeete 1 Bar Hain

Hum Marte Ek Baar Hain

Pyar Bhi Ek Baar Hota Hai

Aur Shadi Bhi Ek Bar Hi Hoti Hai

Toh Fir Ye Saale Exams Bar-Bar Kyon?…



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Gabbar:- Kitne Admi the?

Sambha:- Srkr 2.

Gabbar:- Mujhe ginti nahi ati, 2 kitne hote he??

Smb:- 2 1 ke Baad ata he.

Gab:- aur 2 k pehle??

Smb:- 2 k pehle 1 ata he.

Gabbr:- To bich me kaun ata he?

Samb:- Bichme koi nahi ata.

Gab:- To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi ate?

Smb:- 2 1 k bad hi aa sakta he Qki 2 1 se bada he

Gab:- 2 1 se Kitna bada he?

Samba:- ullu k patthey, kaminey goli marni h to mar de, tera namak khaya hai, chavananprash nahi.

yo frnds enjoy d dy…..



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aaj mosan mein ajib se baat hai

bekabo se humare khayalat hai

ji chahat hai ki chura lun aapko aap hi se

par mummy kehti haiki chori karna paap hai



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Teacher: Agar Apna Character

Sudharna Hai To Sab Auraton

Ko MAA Kaha Karo..

Student: Madam Is Se Mera

Character To Theek Rahega, Par

Mere Baap Ka Bigad Jayega..



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Teri khamoshi aurudasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake

ae dost,….

Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne batayake aaj teri chappal se pitai hui hai



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Arz kia he..

Suhagrat he Ghunghat utha rha hu

Wah wah

Suhagrat he Ghunghat utha rha hu

Arey ye to koi or he Mai Mummy ko bula rha hu…



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Chehre Pe Daag Aur Aankho Me Nami Hai

Chehre Pe Daag Aur Aankho Me Nami Hai

Jyada Socho Mat, Tumhe VITAMIN “C” Aur

“IODIN” ki Kami Hai.



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Arz H

Swarg Sbko Chahiye Pr Marna Koi NhiChahta

Wah wah

Swarg Sbko Chahie Pr Marna Koi nhi Chahta

TOP Sbko Krna H

Pr Pdhna Koi Nhi Chahta



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1 sardar kafi dair bad watten wapis aya aur kaha:hun apney waten di mitti di khushbou o nai rai

2nd sardar:pa g tusi mitti nai tatti chuk lai a



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Pyar Ki Har Gali Gumnaam Q Hai,

Judai Aur Maut Ishq Ka

Anjam Kyu Hai.

Log Dete Hai ise Naam Khuda

Ka,

To Fir Ye MUNNI Itni BADNAAM Kyu Hai

Waris ali*



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‘Pehly hath mein lo

Phir mou me lo

Phir thook lagao

Phir seedha kero

Or andar ghusao

KITNA MUSHKIL KAAM HY SUI ME DHAGA DALNA’

by-dilip sadmek



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Classical Insult..

Ek Ladka Scooty Par Ja Raha Tha..

Scooty Ka Tyre Bhains K Gobar

K Beech Mein Se Guzer Gya,

Qareeb Kuch Ladkiya Khadi Thi.

Unho Ney Taliyan Baja K Kaha:”Happy Birthday To U”

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Ladka Ruka Or Bola:

“Wish Karney Se Kaam Nahi Chaley Ga” .

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“Cake To Khana Hi Padega”



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Apne INDIA Ka Kuchh

Nahi Ho Sakta..!!

Kyuki Yahan..

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Buddhe Desh Chala Rahe

Hai,

Aur Jawaan Facebook..!!



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Modern Basanti

Veeru:” Basanti In Kutto Ke Samne Mat Nachna,

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Basanti:” Xcuse Me,

Who The Hell Do Uthink You Are

To Order Me Like This,

U Stupid Guy Using Abusive Language,

U Bloody Fool Hanging In The Rusty,

Chain With So Obnoxioussmell

Coming From Body,

You Keep Ur Mouth Shut, Nonsense,

Hey Gabbar Play The Dj Man



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Husband- hypnotis karna kya hota hai.

Wife- Kisi ko apne control me kar k apni marzi k kaam karwana.

Husband- Chal joothi use to SHADI kehte hai..



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“Wo Mud Mud Ke Dekh Rahe The Hume”

“Hum Mud Mud Ke Dekh Rahe The Unhe”

Wo Hume-Hum Unhe”

Hum Unhe-Wo Hume”

Kyunki Exam Me Na Unhe Kuch Aata Tha Na Hume”

Waris ali



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Love before marrige

jaan tum nahi to main nahi main nahi to tum nahi

After marrige

ley fair aj tou nai ya main nai



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Meri wafa pe bhi ae dost ehtabar na kar aB..

Muje bhi teri tarah sub se pyar karna hai aB.. ?



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Aj sweater nhi pehnta, toh garmi nhi lgta…

Wah Wah!

Aj sweater nhi pehnta, toh garmi nhi lgta…

Wah Wah!

Cigarette jalate wakt Papa nhi ata, toh pant geela nhi hota…



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Ladka:- Hey Meri Mohhabbat.

Tu Agar Hasti Hay,to Thora Hasi Mujhe Vi Dede.

Tu Agar Soti Hay To Thora Sapna Mujhe Vi Dede.

Tu Agar Roti Hay To Thora Sa Rona Mujhe Vi Dede.

Ladki:- May Avi Toylet Me Hoon To May Tujhe Keya Du !



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Have a refresher.

Dudhwala continuously ringing door-bell.

Lady from inside: Bhaiya kitna dabaoge,

Ab bas bhi karo.

Tumse accha to Paperwala hai

Jo chup chap neeche se daal deta haai;;)



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Ek kutta ek car k neeche baitha tha..

.

.

.

.

.

.

santa aaya aur usk pooch kheechta hua bola:” nikal

saale bhootni k..

bada aaya mechanical engineer..”



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Be Careful!

aap ko kissi unknown number se aik sms aa sakta hai jis se aapki

mobile screen pe meri photo aa jaye gi.

please dekhay bina delete kar dain kyon

kay pehlay he bahut se

log deewanay ho chukay hain…!!

Khan



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Lady Beggar:” Aee.. bhaiya 1 rupya de de.. 3 din se bhuki hu…

.

.

.

.

Pappu:” 3 din se bhuki hai toh 1 rupye ka kya karegi…??

.

.

.

.

.

Lady Beggar:” waight dekhungi kitna ghat gaya hai…:p :O



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pahale ladakiya kahati thi

agar tum mil jao ham jamana chod dege

ab ki girl kahati

agar tum mil jao to ham purana chod dege



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YE

MERA

YE

MERA

YE

MERA

YE

MERA

YE

MERA

YE

MERA

YE

MERA

YE

MERA

PLAN THA TUJHE DISTURB KARNEKA.

Friends



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5 saal ke bacche ne pyar ki paribhasha likhi:

Pyar chaddi mein huyi su-su jaisa hota hai,

jo dusro ko nahi dikhta par khudko feel hota hai.

What…



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Ek baat meri samajh mein bilkul nahi aati hai,

Tumhari chhapalon ki design har roz badli hui nazar aati hai,

Sabhi sandal apne aap mein attractive hain,

Kya tumhare boyfriend kisi joote ki company ke representative hain… 😀



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Phoolo Ke Phool He Hum,

Mehfil Ki Ronak He Hum,

Khubsurto Me Khubsurt He Hum,

Panga To Leke Dikhao

Is duniya ke

Rawdy Rathod He Hum,,”



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ABCD TO SABHI KO AATI HOGI..

AGGAR AATI BHI HOGI TOH AISI NAHI

AATI HOGI

A- Antiquity

B- Black Label

C- Chivas Regal

D- Dirctors Spcial

E- Eight Pm

F- Fuel/Fosters

G-Green Label

H- Hywards

I- Imperial Blue

J-Johny Walker

K-Kingfisher

L- Löndon Pilsner

M- McDowell No 1

N- Napolean Rum

O- Old Monk

P- Peter Scot

R- Royal Stag

S- Signature

T- Tequilla

U- Urrack

V- Vat 69

W- White Mischief

X- XXX rum

Y- Yankey

Z- Zingaro

Lage Raho ..

Pi pi Ke Pade Raho ..

*beer*



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1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,”Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?” Ladka bola,”JI BHABHI JI!”

..B-boy gank..



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“”KHOON””

se likh diya har diwar pe Uska naam,

aur phir Tod di har diwar

jis pe likha tha uska naam

kyon ki…

”SPELLING MISTAKE THI YAAR”

*~*~*~*~*



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Ahh

Kya Khubsurti

Wah

Kya Stylo dressing

Ahh

Kya Personality

Wah

Kya Cool hair style

Ye msg main ne SHESHAY(mirror) k samne khare ho kr likha hai.



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Boy-Tu kitne baje uthti he?

Gal-Apna koi time nhi,jab dil kre so jatihu,or jab dil kre uth jatihu

Boy-Naughty.Tu bilkul mere KUTTE pe gai he



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Kyu Smjhte Nhi Tum Mere Pyar Ko Kyu Bhul Gaye Us Baat Ko.

Ki Sath Rahenge Tere Marte Dum Tak Kitni Aasani Se Bhula Diya Tumne Un Vado Ko…



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hansi mazak k ye din yaad rakhna

is kasamkhan ki dosti ko yaad rakhna

mahefil me agr kl me rahu na rahu

EK THA TIGER bs itna yaad rakhna



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Gul Gaye Gulshan Gaye, Gai Tere Honto Ki Lali

Gul Gaye Gulshan Gaye, Gai Tere Honto Ki Lali

Ab To Mera Picha Chor, Ho Gayi Tu Bal-Bache Wali



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Student: Mam Jab

Hindustan Ko Hind…

Pakistan Ko Pak…

Australia Ko Aus…

To

Hum

Brazil & London Ko Kya Kahenge ???

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Mam: Tu Apna Kaam Kar Haramkhor !!!



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Zindagi Ki Rahon Mein Jab Koi Mod Aaye,

Vah,

Vah,

Irshaad,

Irshaad,

Zindagi Ki Rahon Mein Jab Koi Mod Aaye,

Toh

Toh

Toh

Give Indicator Blow Horn Aur Mud Jaaye….



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‘(“3 Dost The” )’

Billu=Gullu=Ulloo..

Billu=B.S.C Main pad raha hai..

Gullu = M.A main pad raha hai.

Or Hamara Ulloo : ye Post Padh raha hai.

‘Haa Haa Haa’

Hans mat mere saath bhi aise hi huwa hai chal ab teri baari hai bana subko Ulloo..

Jaldi jaldi bana warna ye msg aam ho jaayega.



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New punishment for mobile owners:

Missed call k liye paanch saal jail,

Sms k liye phaansi,

Call k liye umer qaid,

aap mat darain KANJOOS k liye

ek lakh ka inam hai ha ha ha ha



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Arz kiya Hai…

Khushi Wo Chiz Hai Jis se GUm bhulaya Jata Hai

.

Aur

.

Gum wo chiz Hai

mere dost

.

jis se

.

.

.

.

lifafa chipkaya jata Hai



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Girlfrend Romantic mood me- aaj ghar mai koi nhi hai,

aajao..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Boy- tu mere ghar aaja pagli, mereghar sab log hai

Tera mann laga rahega

Moral- har ladka kamina nahi hotakoi sharif b hota.

PA1



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Premi apne premika ki

Zulfon me aisa khoya

Ke

.

Behosh ho gaya.

.

Jab hosh aya to romantic hokr pucha..

.

.

Jaan!

.

.

KASSAM SE

Nahati kyon nhi ho!!!



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Dil Cheer Ke Dikhau.. To Dard

Dhoondh Na Paaoge..

Waah Waah

Dil Cheer Ke

Dikhau.. To Dard Dhoondh Na Paaoge.. Kyonki Dard To Mere Sir

Me Hai..

Waris ali ansari



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Aap ki yaad main ek shair arz hai.

Today is Monday, tommorow is Manglwar..

Wah wah

Today is Monday, tommorow is Mangalwar..

I Miss u Yaar.. I Miss u Yaar.. 🙂



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ARZ KIYA HAI.

zara gaur farmiye !

haan toh ARZ KIYA HAI..

Yu na kisi k dil se khelo……

.

.

Yu na kisi k dil se khelo…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jab Like & comment nahi karna aata

TOH? ? ?

Computer aur mobile bech

kar radio

lelo Ho gayi na ab bejjati….



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Mosam Badla Thand Suru Ho Gai

Apke Msg Ke Bina Zindagi Tang Ho Gai

Kya Apke Inbox Me Msg Ki Kami Ho Gai

Ya Fir Hamare Msg Padkr Bolti Bandh Ho Gai..



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LOVE v/s DAARU

LOVE-mood off

DAARU-mood Fresh

LUV-Nind Nhi

DARU-Mst Nind

LUV-1 Date 2000/-

DARU-1 Botel 300/-

LUV-Sbki Suno

DARU-P K sab ko Sunao.



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Pathan Got Job In ‘Idea’ Customer

Care Call Centre.

Customer: My Idea Sim Is Blocked,

What To Do?

Pathan: Don’t Get Tense, Remove

‘Idea’ Sim

And Use ‘Airtel’ Sim.

Thank You For Calling ‘Aircel’.



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Tanha Rehna To Sikh Liya Humne,

Per Khush Na Kabhi Reh Payenge,

Teri Duri To Fir Bhi Seh Lete Hai,

Per Teri Mohabbat Ke Bin Na Jee

Payenge.



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Amul ghee ki Ad. ke liye Rajpal Yadav

ko sign

karne gaye… Rajpal:- isme to Sunny

Deol ko lena chahiye Director:- wo toh

hain hi ..! Rajpal:- to mujhe kyun?

Director:- nakli ghee ka asar dikhane k liye!



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Guard: Madam iss swimming pool me nahana mana hai..

Girl: Jab main Kapde Utar rahi thi tab kyo nahi Bataya..

Guard: Pabandi Nahane pe hai Kapde utarne pe nahi…

A…DON



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.

INDIA :-

Kabhi noto ke liye mar gaye,

.

Kabhi voto ke liye mar gaye.. .

.

kabhi sheela ki jawaani ke liye mar

gaye..

.

kabhi jalebi bai diwaani ke liye mar

gaye..

.

Kabhi fb pr LIKE SHARE k liye mar

gye

.

kabhi jaati..paati ke naam par mar

gaye..

.

kabhi sarkaar ke kaam par mar

gaye..

.

.

kabhi ham aapas me do gaz

zamino ke liye mar gaye.. . .

.

hote aaj Veer BHAGAT SINGH to

kehte..

yaar SUKH-DEV . RAJGURU ,

Ham bhi kin kamino ke liye mar

gaye..



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A funny life cycle,

COCKROACH is afraid of RAT.

RAT of CAT.

CAT of DOG.

DOG of MAN.

MAN of his GIRLFRND n GIRLFRND OF COCKROACH.



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Dil do to kisi ek ko,

Aur do to kisi nake ko,

Jo samjhe pyaar k matlab ko,

Jab tak na mile koi…

To try karte raho har ek ko.

Swee2



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Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,

Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,

Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,

Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin

kho gayi!!



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Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne.

Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500.

Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.



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A B C D E F G H I . . . . . . . . . . . U V W X Y Z.. Dekha I aur U ke beech mein jo bhee aaya sabko tapka diya…..



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Apni Girlfrnd ke samne

Dusri ladkiyo ko kaise dekhe.. ??

.

Boy: Tum ne us ladki ko dekha.

Wo Kapde usko bilkul suit nhi karte.

Girl: Saale.

Tu toh chahta hai k

ladkiyan kapde hi na pehne !!

.

Moral: Ladki Ne Pehle Hi

Sprite Pee li thi..



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Timepass Ka New StyLe

1 Ma6ar Ko Pakdo

Usko Jamin Pe Leta Do

Fir Gudgudi Karo

Or Jaise Wo Hasne K Liye Muh KhoLe NaLayak Ko aLLout PiLa Do;)



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HAMARE YAHA

Naya

Purana

Acha

Kharab

Taza

Basi

Tuta futa

SABHI Prakar k SMS Sweekar kiye Jate h

KRIPYA BHEJTE RAHE

Note:

Hamari 2sri koi Branch Nhi hai.



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Tura-Mai Tor Khatir Sab La Chhor Duhu.!

Turi-Ma Baap?

Tura-Hao

Turi-Dost?

Tura-Hao

Turi-Aau Cigratte,Daru?

Tura-Le Behni Te

Ghar Ja, Tor Dada Khojat Hohi.



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Ek Hath M Pen Dusre M

Phone, Ek Kaan Se Lectre

Dusra Gossip Pe, Ek Eye

Board Pe Dusri Lover Par,

Kaun Kahta H K Student

Life Is Easy.



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Ladki ne boy frnd ko fone kiya touss ke bhanje ne fone uthaya.

Ladki:

Apne uncle ko fon do.

Bacha:

Aap ka name?

Ladki:

Apne uncle se kaho unn ki Jaan-eman ka fone hai.

jawab mein bachhey ne jo kaha usse sunn kar larki behosh ho gayi.

uss ne masumiyat se kaha:

“lekin aunty mobile pe to “RameshPlumber ki Beti”likha hua tha..;)



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She :- Tu Whatsapp Pe Hai

Kya ?

.

.

.

Me :- Nahi, Sorry Main Whatsapp Pe Nahi

Hu, Whatsapp Mere Phone Me Hai…



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Rafta rafta har police wale ko shayar kar diya

Mahafil e sher o sukhan may bhej kar sarakar ne

Ek qaidi subah ko phansi laga kar mar gaya

Rat bhar gazalen sunain us ko thanedar ne



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Aaj Mene Ek Ladki Ko Request Send

Ki

.

.

.

.

.

Shaam Uska Messege Aaya: Sorry

Main Unknown Ko Add Nahi

Karti

.

.

.

.

.

.

Maine Reply Kiya: Jo Pehle Se 982

Friends Add Kiye

Hai,

Tu Un Sab Ki AUNTY Lagti Hai Kya

Kamini…..



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Neend Aati Hai To Khwaab Aata

Hai

Khwaab Mein Ek Ladki Aati Hai

Ladki Ke Piche Uska Baap Aata

Hai

Phir Na Neend Aati Hai Na Khwaab Aata Hai..



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Engineer boy to riksha wala :

Bhaiya khali ho ??

Riksha wala : haan blkul khaali..

.

.

.

.

. .

.

.

.

..

. .

Engineer: bc fir assignments

complete karke de

na,bhagwan tera bhala karega :p



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3g ki shakti hume dena data

cell ka signal kamjor ho na

hum rahe facebook/whaatsp me har kadam pe

bhul kar bhi hum offline ho na



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Ek Neta: Mujhe Pata Hai

Tum Kiske Isaron Par Naachte Ho.

Dusra Neta: Khabardar Jo

Raajnitik Bahas Me

Meri Patni Ko Ghasita…



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Dhoka mila jab pyar main,

Zindagi mein udaasi chaa gayi,

Socha tha chorr dain is raah ko,

Kambhakht mohalley mein dusri agayi..



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Barsaat ki aik khoubsouret rat main shabnem sey bheag k aik dousry sey takratey houey

Eik phoul ney dousrey sey kaha

Anni daya takran tey na mar



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Sometimes the world gives me so many reasons to hate it…but whenever it happens…. I just stop and think of u n say, “How can I hate this world montu you are a part of it…”



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Ishq me ye anjaam paya hai,

haat piar taoote muh se khoon aya hai,

hospital pahucha to nurse ne farmaya,

baharo PHOOL BARSAO kisi ka mehboob aaya hai…. 😀



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Devdas Ne Paaro Ke Ghar Ke Saamne

Susu Kar Diya,

Paro Ne Pucha, “Dev Ye Tune Kya Kar Diya?”

Devdas Bola, “Teri Bewafai Ne Itna Dard Diya Ki Aansuon Ne Apna Rasta Badal Diya.”



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Hum Aaj Bhi Dil Ka Aashiana Sajane Se Darte Hain;

Baagon Mein Phool Khilanne Se Darte Hain;

Hamari Ek Pasand Se Tut Jaaeinge Hazaaro Dil;

Tabi Toh Hum Aaj Bhi Girlfriend Bananee Se Darte Hain!



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Updesh:

Daru Pine Se Jindgi Ki Problem Solve Nahi Hoti.

Gyaan:

Aise To Juice Pine Se Bhi,

Problem Solve Nahi Hoti.

Isliye Karo Wohi Jo Lage Sahi..



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TEACHER: YE BATAO K PRINCIPAL KISAY KEHTE HAY?

.

.

.

.

PATHAN: WO PUL JIS PE SE PRINCE GUZARTA HAY OSAY “PRINCIPAL” KEHTE HAY…. 😉



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Boy To Girl Before Exam:Hey,All The Best.

Girl:All The Best To U Too.

Girl Scored 80 Marks& Boy Failed

Moral:Only Boys Wish With True Heart.



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Ladka bola : Dilruba

Ladki boli : Pizza khila

Ladka bola : Paise Nahi

Ladki boli : Kaise nahi

Ladka bola : Mehangayi hai

Ladki boli : To fir Aaj se tu mera bhai hai:))



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Girl – Jante Ho Tum Ladke Kyon Bal Katbate Ho?

Boy – Batao?

Girl – Taki Badtmiji Karne Par Koi Ladki Bal Pakad Kar N Mare

Boy – Janti Ho Tum Ladkiyon Ke Bal Kyon Bade Hote Hain?

Girl – Its Natural!

Boy – Nhi, Balki Eshliye Taki Juyein Ushme Jhula Jhul Shake… 😀



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KAASH YE FAASLE NA HOTE..

.

KAASH YE

DURIYA NA

HOTI..

.

.

.

KAASH HUM

SATH HOTE..

.

.

.

TO..

.

.

.

.

TO,

.

.

TO..

.

.

TO..

.

TO..

.

.

YAAR MERE SMS KE PAISE BACH JATE…



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Boy:”Tumhari aankhe kitni haseen hai…

.

.

Girl:”chhoro na..

.

Boy:”Tumhare baal kitne khubsurat hai..

.

Girl:”chhoro na..

.

Boy:”Tumhare gaal kitne gulabi hai..

.

Girl:”Ab chhoro bhi..

.

.

.

.

.

.

Boy:”Arrrrey… ­ kamini aur kitna choru..

Itne der se

lambi lambi chhor hi to raha hu tere kehne pe…



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Aye Ho Lali Lagake Kya Mardalogi,

Aye Ho Lali Lagake Kya Mardalogi,

Jarasa Muskara Do Iska Kya Achar Dalogi.



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hum idhar se ja rahe tae,

wo udhar se aa rahe tae,,

humne bhee lal joda pahna tha,

unohne bhee lal joda pahna tha,,

hum bhee 4 kandho par savar tae,

vo bhee 4 kandho par savaar the,,

fark sirf itna tha ke,

ke vo sasuraal ja rahe the,,

hum samshaan ja rahe the.!



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INSULT 😛

.

.

.

.

Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..;)

.

.

Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..??

.

.

Boyfriend : Because

.

.

. .

Your Heart Is Housefull And Brain Is Empty,

More Empty Space Means More Comfort ;



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Ek College Mein Ladke Aur Ladki Ke,

Bich Mein Ladayi Ho Rahi Thhi

Ladke Ne Uski Ch00t Mein Ungli De Di

Ladki: Teri Ye Himmat?

Ladka: Tune Hi To Kaha Thha,

Ungli Niche Kar Ke Baat Kar.



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Boy : From The Day We Met I

dont

Drink Or Smoke …

.

.

.

.

Girl : How Sweet Of You … AreYou Madly

In Love With Me? ..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Boy : SHUT UP!, YOU MADE MY

POCKETS EMPTY.. 😀 😛



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{OMS}

Agar kutton ka t.v pr 1 channel ho toh,socho usme serials ke nam kuch aise honge. . .

yahan main ghr ghr BHONKI

.

KAAT KHANA sathiya

.

agle janam mohe KUTIYA hi kijo

.

main KUTIYA tere aangan ki

.

ye KUTTA kya kahlata h

.Ek hajaro m meri kutiya h

.Afsar kutiya

.Is kutte ko kya naam du.

.Bde kutte lgte ho.



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Master:” Tumne Homework Nahi Kiya, Bolo

Kya Saza Du??

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

BOY:” Woh Last seat ki ladki ne bhi Nahi Kiya,

Hum dono ko, Bathroom me band kar do…



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Hum LADKE hr kaam m kmal kr de

Jo wada kre wo pura hr hal m kr de

Kya jrurt hai Ldkiyo ko LIPSTICK lgane ki

Hmse khe hm chum-2 k hi lal kr de.

Agrre boy to thoko like



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1st Woman-: Kuchch Suna Hai Ya Nahi,

Bharat Ne Hindustan Par Hamla Kar Diya Hai.

2nd Woman-: Hume To Dar Hai,

Ki Kahi Ek Misaile Mere Sar Pe Na Gir Jaye.

3rd Woman-: Arre Tum Sab Fikar Kyun Karti Ho,

Hum To India Main Rahte Hai. . .



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1 girl had bunked the lecture and moving around in college.. one profeser asked her: ye kya? Period me ghumna? Girl: yahi soch to badalni hai..!!



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RAVAN ki Barsi aane wali hai

Un ki YAD me plz Ye SMS

kam se kam

kisi 1 RAAKSHAS ya 1 BHOOTNI ko zaroor SEND karein. Maine apna Farz pura kr dia……



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Santa Shouting 2 His GF

” U Said V Will Do Register

Marriage And Cheated Me,

I Was Waiting 4 U

Yesterday Whole Day

In The Post Office….”



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Aaj to bahot khush honge aap?

.

.

.

.

Kyon ki, barish jo ho rahi hai

.

.

.

aur barish me to

.

.

.

.

sab hi mendak khush hote hain



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Jruri Nhi Ki Pyar Ki Manjil Mil Jay.

Jise Humne Caha Vo Hame Mil Jay.

Agar Na Mile Vo To Na Kehna Use

Bevfa.

Bas Dua Karna Ki,

Humse Bhi Pyara Koi Use Mil Jay.

by- BHAVIK PARMAR



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‘How to impress kamwali bai???

.

.

.

.

Had hoti hai yar tum is main bhi interested ho?

sudhar jaoo kasam sae.’



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Kelewala: Kele, Le. Lo kele!

Madam: Arey bhaiya, kele to pilpile hai. Kadak aur lambe do!

Kelewala: Arey madam, kabhi to khane ke liye liyaa karo!



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Suraj Din K Time Kyun Nazr aAta Hai?

RaAt k wAqt Kyun Nahi?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Q k raAt Ko Suraj kI Ami Usay Ghar Se bAhir Nahi NikAlnay Deti



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Boy: mujhse shadi karogi

*

*

*

*

Girl: kya?????

*

*

*

*

*

Boy: achhi film hai na

*

*

*

*

Girl: kutte k bachhe

*

*

*

Boy: kya????

*

*

*

Girl: bade cute hote h



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Wo sadak ke us paar thi

Main sadak ke is paar tha

Kuch wo aage badhi

Kuch main aage badha

Aur kuch aage wo badhi

Aur kuch aage main badha

Kuch aur wo aage badhi

Kuch aur aage main badha

Aab wo sadak ke is paar thi

Aur main sadak ke us paar tha.. 😛



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Sar Jhukta H SHARM Me

Sar Jhukta H ADAB Me

Sar Jhukta H LIKHNE Me

Or

Sar Jhukta H Kisi “Smart Person” Ka Msg Padhne Me…

Padho

Padho

Sar Jhuka K Padho.. 😉



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Ek sardar se kissi ne poocha k

sardar ji agar app ko garmi lagy to app kya karo gay?

Sardar: jenab hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay.

Admai: agar phir bhi appko garmi lagy to kya karo gay?

Sardar: jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.Hushain2



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Arz kiya hai……

.

.

.

.

Master ji class me sharaab liye baithe hain…..

.

.

.

Wah Wah

.

.

.

Master ji class me sharaab liye baithe hain…..

.

.

.

Aur Bache itne haraami hain

‘Sale Glass Liye Baithe Hain’…..



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Pappu ne Ghar ka Darwaza ukhara or kandhe pe rakh k Bazar me gya..

.

.

1 Admi ne poucha:” pappu, Drwaza Bechna hai kya.. ??

.

.

Pappu:” Nhi Re Tala Khulwana hai.. Chabi gum ho gyi hai..

Hanso mat Joke abhi aage hai..

.

.

.

.

Admi pappu se:” Agar ghar me chor ghus gaya to.. ??

.

.

Pappu:” Abe Dhakkan Andar kaise jayega darwaza to humare paas hai..



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Yar tmsy 1 help chahye thi

Me kisi ko Maths parha raha hon

Mujy plz bs ye bta do k agr hum Quadratic Formula use karte huwe ’0? ko equalant ly aur Variable ka Square Root nikal kr usko Integrate kary tu jo answer ay us ko Laplace Equation me put kr ke Evaluate kary & Constant ko neglect kr k uska Invrse nikal kr Graph Paper pr Plot kary to kia us paper ka “Jahaz” ban jayga?

.

.

Parh To Aisy Rahe Ho Jesy 0xford Univrsty Me Maths Ke Professor Ho



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Biwi ne Husband ko call kiya:- Kaha ho tum ??

.

Husband:- Tumhe woh Jwellery shop yaad hai jahan

tume ek diamond ka set pasand aaya tha aur tab mere pass itne paise nahi the ki main wo tumhe leke de sakun..

.

Wife :- Haan yaad hai…

.

Husband:- Phir maine tumse

kaha tha ki ek din main tumhein woh zaroor leke dunga..

.

Wife bahut khush hote hue: Haan Haan ji, mujhe

achche se yaad hai..

.

.

Husband:- Main uski baju

wale pub me beer pe raha hu thoda late aunga….. 🙂



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Jindagi behaal hai,

Sur hai naa taal hai,

Msgbox bhi kangal hai,

kya aapki sms factory me hadtal hai,

yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri,

mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai



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dil do kisi ek ko,

wo bhi kisi nek ko !

par jab tak koi nek na mile,

prapoj karo har ek ko !



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Udte Huey Parindey Se Ek Ladki Ne Pucha:Tumhe Niche Girne Se Dar Nhi Lagta ??…To Parindey Ne Muskura Kar Bada HiKhubsurat Jawab Diya……….”Abe Shakal Achi Nhi Hai To,Kam Sekam Baat To Achi Kar Liya Kar.:D:p8-);>



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Door Se Dekha To Patthhar

Dikhta Tha

Door Se Dekha… To Patthhar

Dikhta Tha

Paas Jake Dekha To

Sachmuch Patthhar Hi Tha



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Officer: Dekho, humme aisa

chaukidaar chahiye jo

sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par

jisse hum daat bhi saake…

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh

naukri mil sakti hai.

Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai,usse bulau?



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Jethalal- aare daya raat ko

Mobile charging me mat rakho,

Blast ho jayega,

Daya- tapu ke papa

Aap tension mat lijiye

Maine battery nikal di he…



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Fida hu uski chaal pe,

Uske bolne ki taal pe,

Chahe tamacha lage gaal pe,

par

Bol deta hu sare jahan se..

Nazar mat daalna meri MAAL

pe

Yaad rakhna



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NAMASKAR!

Aa navri sms seva ma apnu ‘SWAGAt’ 6.

amara sms jo apne game to krupa kari ne ek miss call maro.

jo na game to…baju wala ne ek lafo maro….!!



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Log Kehte Hai Ki Pyar Ek Aisi Bimari Hai,

Jiski Koi Dawa Nahi Hoti,

Hum Kehte Hai Bewfai Ek Aisi Dawa Hai,

Jisse Ye Bimari Dubara Nahi Hoti…



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Funy poetery

bus nazron sey daikh liya hota ager tamana thi daraney ki

hum to youn hi mar jatey kaya zarouret thi muskuraney ki



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Jab se howa hai pyar dil bass mein nahin ho raha hai

Sab ho raha hai minus, kuch pluss mein nahin ho raha hai

Aap ke pyar ka ajab sa jadu chaa geya hai

carbon dioxide bahar ja raha hai, na oxygen andar arha hai



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Usko Pane Ke Liye To Me GOD Se Bhi

Lad Leta..

.

.

.

.

.

Phir Socha..

Exam Ka Time Hai..

.

.

.

.

God Se Panga Lena Theek Nahi..



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Father :- Agar Iss Bar Tum

Exam Mein Fail Hue To,

Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna.

.

After Exam.

Father : How Is Your Result?

.

Son : Dimag Ka Dahi Mat Kar

BABULAL Tu Baap Kehlane Ka Haq Kho Chuka Hai.



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Achha Ek Bat Batao,

GADHA Tanhai Me Kya Mehsus karta Hai.?

*

*

Koi Jaldi Nahi Hai..

Mehsus Karke Bata Dena.



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ShUrkH kHaN kI bIrThDaY pE uS kI wIfE aUsY kIyA gIfT dEgI ?

SoChO

?

SoChO

ThInK

?

ThInK

SoChO yAr

SiMpLe

NiSwAr.



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Ladki apne Boyfriend ko naraz karne ke baad

SMS pe manati

hai..

.

.

1st Hour:”Sorry.. .

2nd Hour:”Sorry plzz..

.

3rd Hour:”Plzz 1 baar baat karlo..

.

4th Hour:”Plzz reply jaan..

.

5th Hour:”Plzzz itna naraz mat ho..

.

6th Hour:”I’m sorry, I’ll die agar tumne baat

nahi ki..

.

.

7th Hour: Salman Khan Hai Kya”Dafa ho, 100

ladke

ghumte hai tere jaise..

Sar pe hi chadha jaa rha hai, bhaad me jaa

.

.

.

Boy:”Sorry Dear, balance nahi tha

Girl:”Ohh Its okkk.

PA1



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Jholi Bhar K Pyar Bheju.

Dil Se Dil ka Sawal Bheju.

Aata Nhi Apka Koi Call Ya Sms.

Yaad Nhi Aati Humari,Ya.

Yaaddash K Liye Kaju Badam Bheju…



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Kash Humari Bhi Parwah Kisi Ne Ki Hoti,

To Ye Duniya Humse Ruswa Na Hoti,

Agar Aata Aap Jaisa Muskurana Humein,

To Humse Bhi Kisi Ne Mohbbat Ki Hoti…

(ganesh)



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Ager Koi Moti Ladki Apko Dhek Ke Mud Ke Wapes Aaye To Aap Us Ladki Ko Kya Kahoge …….?

…..

…..

…..

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

….

“GOL-MAAL RETURN”



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Ik Sher Arz hai

.

Idhar Bhi Gum ho Gaya hai.

.

Udher Bhi Gum ho Gaya hai.

.

.

Msg Delete kar Do Sher khatam ho Gaya hai.



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Arz Kia Hai:

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Bhai Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Zara si tawajja plz

Bhai petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Kya irshaad farmaya hai,

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai

Nahi dalo to nahi chalti hai.



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Aapki smile ne saara jahan hila diya..

Aapki smile ne saara jahan hila diya..

Koma say jagey mareez ko permanent sula diya..!!



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Aaj kal bacho ne padna chod diya?

Gor frmaiye..

Aaj kal bacho ne padna chod diya?.

ACP tha toilet me or Daya ne darwaja tod diya??



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SHAYARI BY SARDAR-

jis ke dil me dard hai vo DILDAR hai

jis ke dil me dard hai wo DILDAR hai,

aur

Jis ke sar me dard hai

wo SARDAR hai.



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Uski Nazar Meri Taraf Thi

Meri Nazr Uski Tarf Thi

Vo Mugh Se Kuch Kehna Chahti Thi

Main Us Se Kuch Puchna Chahta Tha

Dono Ise Uljan Mein Bethe Rahe

Aur Exam Over Ho Gaya



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Tchr 2 1st std student : Haath mei

kitne fingers hote h ?

Stdnt:Sir, 6

Tchr Kitni baar samjhaya h, pant se

haath nikal k fingers count kar.



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Kesy Mumkin Tha Ksi or Dawa Se elaaj..? ”

” Ishq Ka DARD Tha “AMMI” ki chappal se he aaraam aaya.

<(",) ((> Oee Ammi Araam se. Aashiq hun..

< /



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Arz Kiya Hai-

Tere Liye Chand Kya,

Sitaro Ko Bhi Tod Dunga

Tum Shaadi Ke Liye Haa Toh Kaho

Ghar Walo Ko Kya,

Ghar Wali Ko Bhi Chor Dunga.



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Bottle chupa dena kafan me mere,

shamshan me bhet kar piya karuga,

khuda maangega jab hisaab mujhse,

ek ek peg bana kar diya karuga.



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Indian Banks Description

IDBI-Itna Dhan Bina Income

SBI-Sab Bhikari Idhar

HDFC-Har Dum Fakir Chand

HSBC-Hum Sabse Bade Chor

Bank of Baroda-Bank Of Bhangis



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Ek aurat saheli se:

Mujhe bachcha nahi ho raha!

Saheli: Tumhara pati namard hoga..?

Aurat: Mera Pati kya,

Mujhe to tumhara pati bhi namard hi lagta hai.



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Funy Poetery

Biwian aati hain heer ki tarha

meethi hoti hain kheer ki tarha

namkeen hoti hain paneer ki tarha

or phir chend maah baad

chubti hain teer ki tarha

kar daiti hain fakeer ki tarha

nazar rakhti hain shabir ki tarha

or phir khawand k hathon mari jati hain benazir ki tarha



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Maine aapko Phone Kiya To

Network Bola,Namskar,

Murkho Ki Dunia Mein aapka Swagat Hai, aap Jis Murkh

Se Is Waqt Baat Karna Chahte

Hain Uska DIMAG Out Of Coverage Hai..Waris ali



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Dil ne Socha khat Likhu Mili na Shayri PyarWali

Socha Phul Bheju Mili nA Dali Gulab wali

Isliye Sms Bheja hai Taki Tute na

Dosti Pyar Wali

Swee2



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Ek Larka-Larki Hotel Me Gaye…

Wter:- Kya Loge..?

Larki:- Sabziyoo Bali Roti:-)

Wter:- What??

Larka: Gaon Ki Hai,

PIZZA Maang Raho Hai…0:)



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Dil Ke Mahman Ban Jao,

Aankho Ke Arman Ban Jao,

Honto Ki Muskan Ban Jao,

Oh Aap Ho,

I m Sorry YAaR

Aap To Bas,

Insaan Ban Jao.



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Zindgi Ki Har Ek Udaan Baaki Hai

Har Mod Pr Ek Imtihan Baki Hai

Abhi To Sirf Aap Hi Pareshan Hai Mujhse

Abhi To Pura Hindustan Baaki Hai…



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Doctor: Kaise Aana Hua?

Santa: Doc Sab, Tabiyat Theek Nahi hai, Liver mein Pain ho raha hai

Doc: Daroo Peete ho??

Santa: Haan, Par Chhota Peg hi Banana.



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Muqadar main raat ki nend nahi to kya hua…

Hum bhi muqadr ko dhoka de kar din ko so jatay hain..

(‘,’)/ Oh my God

<) ( I am SO INTELLIGENT NA _/ _



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Ladki Sath Ho To Restaurant Ka Bill

Ladki Door Ho To Mobile Ka Bill

Aur

Ladki Hamesha Ke Liye Hi Door Ho Jaye To

Daru Ka Bill

Isliye Na Lagao Dil, Na Aayega Bill…



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Larkiyo’n Ki

Specialty …

UK: Dressing

Spain Beautiful

America: Stylish

Italy: Friendly

Brazil: Hot

Indian : Kuch Ho Na

Ho

Par ATTITUDE Ki Koi

Kami Nahi

Mile Gi …



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ek ladki ko ek jadu ka chirag mila

Us ne us ko ragda to ek Jin nikla,

.

Jin ne kaha:3 khwaishe

batao,

.

ladki :1 khubsurat Aalishan ghar

ho,

Ghar aa gaya,

.

ladki – dusri ghar main bahut amir

log rahte hoo

Log Aa gaye,

.

ladki – ab us ghr me jo jawan ladka hai, usko mera bf bana do :O 😛



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Mom to kid: Jo buchey angotha choustey hain un k pait barey ho jatey hain

aik din bacha aik paregnent auret ko daikh kar hans kar bola mujey pata hai tum kaya chousti ho



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20th Sadi Ki Ladkiyan :-

Agar Tum Mil Jaao,

Jamana Chhod Denge Hum,

21th Sadi Ki Ladkiyan :-

Agar Tum Mil Jaao,

Purana Chhod Denge Hum…



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Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?

Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai

Teacher: Kya matlab?

Golu: Ji wo

CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai



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1 girl ask 2 pappu

.

wo kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?

.

pappu : legs..

.

Girl : wo kia hai jo tumhari pant mai hai or meri pant me nahi hai?

.

Pappu : paisay..

.

Girl : wo kia hai jo log din me karne k bjaye raat ko bistar pai kartai hain?

.

Pappu : neend puri kartai hain..

.

Girl : wo kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai?

.

Pappu : Kan mai chaid…

.

.

MORAL: aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarha saaf rakhain

Thanks papu.

By – Raj



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Ek chhota sa par bahut khatarnaak

sentence jo na jaane kitne Ladko ki

jindagi barbaad kar

deta hai..

: : :

: :

:

:

“Yaar, vo tujhe dekh rahi thi”



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Exams Life

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

9am- Wake-up

10am- Breakfast

11am- Thinking 2 score 80%

12am- Watch TV

1pm- Lunch

2pm- Thori neend le k padhenge

dimagh set hoga ..

4pm- Games

5pm- Thinking 2 score 60%

6pm- Troubling friends

“kuch padha?”

8pm- Searching books.

9pm- Dinner

10pm- Lo bhae light gai.

11pm- plz bhagwan! Bas pass kara de…

12pm- kal se pakka padhunga..



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Tumhara Naam Phool Rakhu To Bikhar Jaoge

Dil Rakhu To Toot Jaoge

Chalo Bijli Rakhta Hoon

Chhor Kar Jaoge To Ek Ghante Baad Wapis Aa Jaoge…



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Shadi Walay Din Jota Chupai kI Rasm kYun h0ti hAi??

?

?

?

Dulhay k0 Ulti Metam Di Jati Hai k aB Bhi wAqt Hai Nangay pAoN Bhag Jao. . .



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Voda”(F)”one

Ai”(R)”tel

A”(I)”rcel

!d”(E)”a

Relia”(N)”ce

Tata In”(D)”icom

B”(s)”nl

“Friends” ke bina sare net work bekar hai.



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Mstr-Kal Scul Kyu Nhi Aya

Stdnt-Sir GalFrnd Se Milne Gaya Tha

Mstr-Kiss Liye?

Boy-Yes Sir.

Master-Maine Puchha Kiss Liye?

Boy-Liye Sir,Bahut Saare liye..



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Read Must 😀 Dabangg effect-

Sir: Pappu tumhare sare ans galat hai,

marks de to kahan..

Pappu: KAMAL KARTE HO MASTER JI,

MARKS HI TO

MANG RAHE HAI, CHUP CHAP DE DO

WARNA

THAPPAD MAR KE B LE SAKTE HAI.

Sir: Badtameez

kya bak rha hai..

Pappu: BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA

MASTER JI, AAPKE

PAPA KAISE HAI..??

Sir: Gadhe,nikal ja class se!

Pappu: CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO

MASTER JI,

WARNA ANS PAPER ME ITNE

CHHEDKARENGE, KI

CONFUSE HO JAOGE KI MARKS KAHA

DE AUR ZEro



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Boy – kya kar rhi ho ?

Girl – Movie dekh rhi hu..

Boy – Kaunsi ?

Girl- ‘LooTera’

Boy- ‘Lele’

*blocked*



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Ghantu Ko Vodafone Mein Operator Ki Job Mil Gayi,

Magar Pehle Din Hi Use Unhone Bahut Mara Aur Nikal Diya

Cause

First Caller: Mera Vodafone Ka Sim Kharab Ho Gaya Hai!

Ghantu: To Pagal Airtel Ka Le Le…



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Mom:

Boyfriend Jab Kiss kare to bolo “DON’T”

Or Jab Galy lagae to bolna

“STOP”

.

.

2nd day Beti:

MOM usne kiss or hug dono ek sath Kiya,

to Me ne b ek sath kaha-

“DON’T STOP”



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Arz Kiya Hai…

Wife Ne Puchha Husband Se..

Wife Ne Puchha Husband Se..

Ki Sach Sach Batao Tum,

Kitne Ke Saath Soye Ho..

Husband Bola – Soya To Sirf Tumhare Sath.

Baki Saikron Ke Sath JAGA PURI RAT.



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Jub dulhan ka ghoonght uthaya toh KIS NE KIYA KAHA?

Dr: munh kholo aur lambe lambe sans lo

Driver: haran do rasta lo

Conductr: bibi thora sa aage ho jain

Techr: agr sabk yad nhi toh foran kan pakr lo

Raj mistry: sara material hi nakis use hoa hai Dakoo: baki ka maal kidhr hai. […

Or tum……



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Ram Ne Sita Ko SMS Kiya,

Dear Situ,

What’s Up?

Main Yaha Mast Hu And Hope Tu Bhi Good Hogi,

Laxman Tujhe Miss Karta Hai…

Yaar Tu Tension Na Le,

Main Bahut Jaldi Tujhe Ravan Ke Yaha Se Le Jaunga.

Maine BSNL Ka Sim Liya Hai, Aur Ravan Ka Number Free Karwa Liya Hai,

Ravan Ko Maine Mobile Per Bahut Gaaliya Di,

Saale Ne Ye Bol Ke Phone Kaat Diya Ki Battery Low Hai,

Main Tujhe Micromax Ka 30 Days Battery Backup, Dual Sim Wala,

Aur 8GB Ka Card Sad Song Bhar Ke Mr. Hanuman Ke Hath Bhej Raha Hun.

Isme Net Surfing Bhi Hai…

Ab Hum Tum Night Mein Calling Ke Maje Le Payenge,

India Mein 3G Bhi Lauch Ho Chuka Hai,

Ho Sake To Lanka Se Video Calling Ka Try Karna…

Laxman Top-Up Card Lene Gaya Hai, Aur Haan Maine Vibhishan Ko Facebook Pe Add Kar Liya Hai. Lanka Mein Kya Ho Raha Hai, Wo Sab Status Update Kar Deta Hai,

Chal Baad Mein Chat Karenge, Bye!

Love You… Ram



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Arz Kiya Hai..

Uska Pyar Mujhe Sata Raha Hai..

Wah.. Wah..

Uska Pyar Mujhe Sata Raha Hai..

Abe, Beer Chupa Tera Baap Aa Raha Hai..



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Funy poetery

dil ki tanhai ko awaz bana laitey hain

bijli jub chali jati hai to manji chat pey daa laitey hain



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Strange But True..

.

.

Duniya Me Har Insaan Ka Alag

Naam HAI..

.

.

Magar Bheed Me Jab Hum Aawaz

Lagate Hai..

.

.

.

“Abe Kaminey”

Kasam Se 20 Me Se 18 Log Palat

Kar Dekhte Hai…



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Pappu ne exam me arz kiya

.

.

.

.

Likho To EXAM me Kuch Aisa LikhoK PEN Bhi Ronay Par Majboor Ho jaye,

.

.

Hr ANSWER Me Woh Dard Bhar do

Ki Check karne Wala DISPRIN Kha K So Jaye .,..



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Munna: Kya Kar Rela Hai Circuit?

Circuit: Bhai Bulb Pe Baap Ka Naam Likh Rela Hu

Munna: Kyun!

Circuit: Bhai,

Baap Ka Naam Roshan Karne Ka He Na.



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