Toofani barish me raat ko pizza hut pe
1 Ladka pizza lene Gaya
Waiter: Do u hv any gf?
Ladka: Kutte is tufani barish me Aur
Kya meri MAA pizza lene bhejegi.
Whatsappgreetings.com Browse through our Funny SMS Messages and send free Funny sms / poem / poetry / greetings, hindi jokes, birthday funny text messages, funny hindi mobile jokes and good sms to your friend, family or near and dear ones. Share it have fun.
Ek ladka aur ek ladki ek dusre se
bhut pyaar karte the..
.
.
.
.
Ladki ke baap ko pata lag gya…
.
.
.
Usne gusse se bijli se chalnewali
aaari ko ladki ke gardan(neck) pe rakh diya..
Woh aari ladki ko katne hi wali thi,
achanak light chali gayi…
.
Pass mai khadha woh ladka chillaya..
Congress sarkar Zindabad..
Moral: Agar sacha hai aapka pyaar
to saath hai Bharat Sarkar..
Ek Ladka, Ladki Se Puchta Hy: Bachey Kese Hote Hai ?
Ladki: Chup … !
.
.
.
Ladka: Batao Na Plz =D
Ladki: Nahi Pata =@
Ladka: Plz ….. !!!
Ladki: Thappar Pare Ga Ab Mat Pchna ..!!
Ladka : Aray Bewakoof Itna Bhi Nahi Pata…
.
.
.
Bachay Shararti Hote Hai … =P =D
Moral:Girls Hamesha Boys Ko Ghalat Hi Samajhti Hai 😉
Jisko bhi party ho krni ajao mere ghr ke bhitr daru pikar khane ko h murga titar,goda gurgav mumbai ki choriya ayi hai sath me yo yo ki cdiya b layi h swari saman ki ab khud jime dar hai.
Karlo party sari rat kal etwar hai.
Music bjega loud to anty police bulalegi….
Kya gana hai yar.
Sunke mood fresh ho jata hai..
1 Pinjre me 50 Bandaria aur 1 Bandar
rakha Gaya.
Aur Elan hua ki jo 1 min. me Bandar ko
pehchan ke Pakad lega wo $100,000
payega.
1st: Obama gaya@Par fail ho gaya 2nd: George bush gaya lekin nakam
raha.
3rd: Manmohan singh gaya aur 10
second me Bandar le aaya.
Sab ne hairan hoke puchha:aap ne
kaise pata kar liya? M.M.Singh: Mai pinjre me gaya aur kaha:
VOTE CONGRESS ko dena!
To sirf ek ne kaha:
LUND LE LE MERA!:p:D
AUR MAINE PAKAR LIYA…*
hahaha
Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki
zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.
Next day zuban cut gai..
Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka
hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai…
bahut marta hai.
Next day hath toot jata hai…
Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko
utha le.
Bahut marte hai.
Next day baap ghar aate hain,
Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi
hua ??
.
Baap :- Nahi kyo
Bacha :- Maa kahan hain…??
Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki
death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi
hain..
Pappu makes a call from Delhi 2 his wife
.
Servant picked up d phone.
Pappu : Memsab se baat karao !
Servant: Woh to sahab k sath kamre me so
…
rahi hai.
…
Pappu : Par sahab to main hu.
servant: Ab main kya karu?
Pappu: Maar de dono ko, main hold karta hu..
After killing….
servant: Dead body ka kya karu ?
Pappu: Ghar k piche swimming pool mein
phenk kr bhaag ja.
Servant: Par ghar k piche to swimming pool
hai hi nahi.
.
Pappu: Oh sorry, wrong number..
Gabbar:- Kitne Admi the?
Sambha:- Srkr 2.
Gabbar:- Mujhe ginti nahi ati, 2 kitne hote he??
Smb:- 2 1 ke Baad ata he.
Gab:- aur 2 k pehle??
Smb:- 2 k pehle 1 ata he.
Gabbr:- To bich me kaun ata he?
Samb:- Bichme koi nahi ata.
Gab:- To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi ate?
Smb:- 2 1 k bad hi aa sakta he Qki 2 1 se bada he
Gab:- 2 1 se Kitna bada he?
Samba:- ullu k patthey, kaminey goli marni h to mar de, tera namak khaya hai, chavananprash nahi.
yo frnds enjoy d dy…..
Modern Basanti
Veeru:” Basanti In Kutto Ke Samne Mat Nachna,
.
.
Basanti:” Xcuse Me,
Who The Hell Do Uthink You Are
To Order Me Like This,
U Stupid Guy Using Abusive Language,
U Bloody Fool Hanging In The Rusty,
Chain With So Obnoxioussmell
Coming From Body,
You Keep Ur Mouth Shut, Nonsense,
Hey Gabbar Play The Dj Man
ABCD TO SABHI KO AATI HOGI..
AGGAR AATI BHI HOGI TOH AISI NAHI
AATI HOGI
A- Antiquity
B- Black Label
C- Chivas Regal
D- Dirctors Spcial
E- Eight Pm
F- Fuel/Fosters
G-Green Label
H- Hywards
I- Imperial Blue
J-Johny Walker
K-Kingfisher
L- Löndon Pilsner
M- McDowell No 1
N- Napolean Rum
O- Old Monk
P- Peter Scot
R- Royal Stag
S- Signature
T- Tequilla
U- Urrack
V- Vat 69
W- White Mischief
X- XXX rum
Y- Yankey
Z- Zingaro
Lage Raho ..
Pi pi Ke Pade Raho ..
*beer*
.
INDIA :-
Kabhi noto ke liye mar gaye,
.
Kabhi voto ke liye mar gaye.. .
.
kabhi sheela ki jawaani ke liye mar
gaye..
.
kabhi jalebi bai diwaani ke liye mar
gaye..
.
Kabhi fb pr LIKE SHARE k liye mar
gye
.
kabhi jaati..paati ke naam par mar
gaye..
.
kabhi sarkaar ke kaam par mar
gaye..
.
.
kabhi ham aapas me do gaz
zamino ke liye mar gaye.. . .
.
hote aaj Veer BHAGAT SINGH to
kehte..
yaar SUKH-DEV . RAJGURU ,
Ham bhi kin kamino ke liye mar
gaye..
Ladki ne boy frnd ko fone kiya touss ke bhanje ne fone uthaya.
Ladki:
Apne uncle ko fon do.
Bacha:
Aap ka name?
Ladki:
Apne uncle se kaho unn ki Jaan-eman ka fone hai.
jawab mein bachhey ne jo kaha usse sunn kar larki behosh ho gayi.
uss ne masumiyat se kaha:
“lekin aunty mobile pe to “RameshPlumber ki Beti”likha hua tha..;)
{OMS}
Agar kutton ka t.v pr 1 channel ho toh,socho usme serials ke nam kuch aise honge. . .
yahan main ghr ghr BHONKI
.
KAAT KHANA sathiya
.
agle janam mohe KUTIYA hi kijo
.
main KUTIYA tere aangan ki
.
ye KUTTA kya kahlata h
.Ek hajaro m meri kutiya h
.Afsar kutiya
.Is kutte ko kya naam du.
.Bde kutte lgte ho.
Pappu ne Ghar ka Darwaza ukhara or kandhe pe rakh k Bazar me gya..
.
.
1 Admi ne poucha:” pappu, Drwaza Bechna hai kya.. ??
.
.
Pappu:” Nhi Re Tala Khulwana hai.. Chabi gum ho gyi hai..
Hanso mat Joke abhi aage hai..
.
.
.
.
Admi pappu se:” Agar ghar me chor ghus gaya to.. ??
.
.
Pappu:” Abe Dhakkan Andar kaise jayega darwaza to humare paas hai..
Yar tmsy 1 help chahye thi
Me kisi ko Maths parha raha hon
Mujy plz bs ye bta do k agr hum Quadratic Formula use karte huwe ’0? ko equalant ly aur Variable ka Square Root nikal kr usko Integrate kary tu jo answer ay us ko Laplace Equation me put kr ke Evaluate kary & Constant ko neglect kr k uska Invrse nikal kr Graph Paper pr Plot kary to kia us paper ka “Jahaz” ban jayga?
.
.
Parh To Aisy Rahe Ho Jesy 0xford Univrsty Me Maths Ke Professor Ho
Biwi ne Husband ko call kiya:- Kaha ho tum ??
.
Husband:- Tumhe woh Jwellery shop yaad hai jahan
tume ek diamond ka set pasand aaya tha aur tab mere pass itne paise nahi the ki main wo tumhe leke de sakun..
.
Wife :- Haan yaad hai…
.
Husband:- Phir maine tumse
kaha tha ki ek din main tumhein woh zaroor leke dunga..
.
Wife bahut khush hote hue: Haan Haan ji, mujhe
achche se yaad hai..
.
.
Husband:- Main uski baju
wale pub me beer pe raha hu thoda late aunga….. 🙂
Ladki apne Boyfriend ko naraz karne ke baad
SMS pe manati
hai..
.
.
1st Hour:”Sorry.. .
2nd Hour:”Sorry plzz..
.
3rd Hour:”Plzz 1 baar baat karlo..
.
4th Hour:”Plzz reply jaan..
.
5th Hour:”Plzzz itna naraz mat ho..
.
6th Hour:”I’m sorry, I’ll die agar tumne baat
nahi ki..
.
.
7th Hour: Salman Khan Hai Kya”Dafa ho, 100
ladke
ghumte hai tere jaise..
Sar pe hi chadha jaa rha hai, bhaad me jaa
.
.
.
Boy:”Sorry Dear, balance nahi tha
Girl:”Ohh Its okkk.
PA1
1 girl ask 2 pappu
.
wo kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
.
pappu : legs..
.
Girl : wo kia hai jo tumhari pant mai hai or meri pant me nahi hai?
.
Pappu : paisay..
.
Girl : wo kia hai jo log din me karne k bjaye raat ko bistar pai kartai hain?
.
Pappu : neend puri kartai hain..
.
Girl : wo kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai?
.
Pappu : Kan mai chaid…
.
.
MORAL: aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarha saaf rakhain
Thanks papu.
By – Raj
Exams Life
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
9am- Wake-up
10am- Breakfast
11am- Thinking 2 score 80%
12am- Watch TV
1pm- Lunch
2pm- Thori neend le k padhenge
dimagh set hoga ..
4pm- Games
5pm- Thinking 2 score 60%
6pm- Troubling friends
“kuch padha?”
8pm- Searching books.
9pm- Dinner
10pm- Lo bhae light gai.
11pm- plz bhagwan! Bas pass kara de…
12pm- kal se pakka padhunga..
Read Must 😀 Dabangg effect-
Sir: Pappu tumhare sare ans galat hai,
marks de to kahan..
Pappu: KAMAL KARTE HO MASTER JI,
MARKS HI TO
MANG RAHE HAI, CHUP CHAP DE DO
WARNA
THAPPAD MAR KE B LE SAKTE HAI.
Sir: Badtameez
kya bak rha hai..
Pappu: BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA
MASTER JI, AAPKE
PAPA KAISE HAI..??
Sir: Gadhe,nikal ja class se!
Pappu: CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO
MASTER JI,
WARNA ANS PAPER ME ITNE
CHHEDKARENGE, KI
CONFUSE HO JAOGE KI MARKS KAHA
DE AUR ZEro
Ram Ne Sita Ko SMS Kiya,
Dear Situ,
What’s Up?
Main Yaha Mast Hu And Hope Tu Bhi Good Hogi,
Laxman Tujhe Miss Karta Hai…
Yaar Tu Tension Na Le,
Main Bahut Jaldi Tujhe Ravan Ke Yaha Se Le Jaunga.
Maine BSNL Ka Sim Liya Hai, Aur Ravan Ka Number Free Karwa Liya Hai,
Ravan Ko Maine Mobile Per Bahut Gaaliya Di,
Saale Ne Ye Bol Ke Phone Kaat Diya Ki Battery Low Hai,
Main Tujhe Micromax Ka 30 Days Battery Backup, Dual Sim Wala,
Aur 8GB Ka Card Sad Song Bhar Ke Mr. Hanuman Ke Hath Bhej Raha Hun.
Isme Net Surfing Bhi Hai…
Ab Hum Tum Night Mein Calling Ke Maje Le Payenge,
India Mein 3G Bhi Lauch Ho Chuka Hai,
Ho Sake To Lanka Se Video Calling Ka Try Karna…
Laxman Top-Up Card Lene Gaya Hai, Aur Haan Maine Vibhishan Ko Facebook Pe Add Kar Liya Hai. Lanka Mein Kya Ho Raha Hai, Wo Sab Status Update Kar Deta Hai,
Chal Baad Mein Chat Karenge, Bye!
Love You… Ram